What if we realized that no matter how down we felt, we were assured that we are not alone, not separate, not all by ourselves, but part of something larger? We are connected to the world; all is one. While that might not provide any immediate or definable solace, the idea promotes a long term sense of security, a sense that whatever happens, we are never disconnected. We are never really alone.
A bond with everything in life. On a practical, daily basis, might we be happier? Most often moments of sadness relate to a belief in isolation from someone or something. If there is no separation, despite a seeming physical one, the sadness lessens. If there is no separation, why would we continue a deep sense of feeling abandoned?
One aspect of being connected is we learn to love ourselves. There is no judgment from the universe, only from us. There is no worth involved; we are part of the universe, and we don't have to earn a place in it. Religions teach us sin, guilt and repentance. In a new spiritual guide, we lose the judgmental language and thoughts. As humans, we have free choice; that creates our differences. But inherently, we are never bad.
Think about people we dislike or those with whom we are angry. If all are one, then they represent some part of us. We are mad at something within us, or we are refusing to forgive an aspect of ourselves. We are connected to others, whether we like it or not.
In forgiving others, we forgive ourselves. We belong to a larger picture. No one is a separate entity flung out by itself. If we are not ostracized, as at times we assume, then we can accept ourselves, which is the start of feeling linked. And we can begin to truly love ourselves, a crucial piece of feeling connected.
Whatever bothers us about others is related to an aspect within. I find myself critical of intolerant people. That position is not justified, showing that I am being intolerant, that very trait I don't like in others. Being intolerant of intolerance is still intolerance. In looking at our annoyances of others, we begin to understand ourselves better. In doing that, we can be more forgiving of others. And then we can be more forgiving of ourselves.
Whatever we admire in others is also a part of us. This is the positive side that tends to get lost as we dwell on the negatives. Those virtues of others that we really like are also aspects of ourselves. Look around and see the qualities in others that you most like. Then look at yourself and see that those virtues exist within you. We are often better than we believe. Dwelling on the positive is a good approach.
Yes, we do obsess on traits of others we don't want to see in ourselves. But remember the opposite. The qualities, potential and/or abilities we are attracted to in others are also a part of us. This allows us to find our alienated self and honor that in order to become the better person we really are.
If we want to be connected to the loving world around us, if we want to feel more closely connected to a higher source, we must feel worthy of that connection. Remember that we don't do bad things because we are bad; we do bad things because we think we're bad. If we are good, truly good, and if we believe we are worthy, might our actions be different?
What if we treat all others, people, animals and the earth itself with more respect since each one represents a part of us.? Might we be kinder to ourselves? Perhaps that is our goal.
Cheryl A. Chatfield, Ph.D. is a writer, teacher and inspirational speaker. This article is an excerpt from her recent Do It Yourself Guide To Spirituality: Seven Simple Steps . Visit http://NottInstitute.org to download and read this 40-page booklet, or to receive a free monthly Practical Spirituality Newsletter. The Nottingham Institute is a nonprofit organization that promotes material for an everyday, practical spirituality for people who don't find answers in traditional religions.
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